5 YEAR ANNIVERSARY VOW RENEWAL + TIPS FOR A GREAT MARRIAGE

Good evening readers! I hope this post has found you well, and happy, and if not I hope that maybe it will bring a smile or two to your face.

Marriage is incredible. It is hard, trying, and such a blessing all at the same time. My husband and I have been together for 8 years! I feel too young to be able to say that. We met in high school, but it was not your typical high school sweetheart romance. See, I was two grades younger than Sam. When we think back on all the ways we were intertwined in our lives, it is so crazy. We were seriously meant to be together. Before I even knew him, I dated his friend, we were almost always at the same place at the same time, and so many other crazy coincidences!

Here is a quick story of how we met:

We were in separate gym classes, but at the same time, during Sam’s senior year. His class would play volleyball, while mine would run (or in my case walk…) a mile around the track above the gym. My good friend Kiana knows that I spent that whole time staring at him in his short purple shorts and SUPER long hippie hair. It was total lust at first sight.

Then there was a  time he chased me and my friends down the mall to ask me what kind of earrings he should wear (insert ALL the laugh emoji’s here. We were SO COOL). We never really talked much and then after he graduated, he contacted me and we have been in love ever since!

This past month, we celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary with the renewal of our vows. It was so beautiful, simple, and sweet! So much has changed over the course of these past five years, and our family is complete, it just felt like a great time to say new vows with entering this next phase of life.

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How beautiful is that cake!? And it was soooo yummy too! Almond poppy seed flavor!

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My whole world, my whole heart, my home
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Such a handsome little model! And always holding food haha

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Oh my gosh! Her smile will melt your heart!

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DRESS: SHOP STEVIE / SHOES: (sold out) SIMILAR / AMELIA’S DRESS: TARGET / AMELIA’S FLATS: TARGET / CALUM’S SHIRT: TARGET / BOWTIES: SPOILED ROTTEN / SAM’S SHIRT: VAN HEUSEN / CAKE PROVIDED BY: HERITAGE WEDDING CAKES

(Side note: Our cake was SO good! Cindy from Heritage Wedding Cakes is incredible! She made our wedding cake, first anniversary cake, and now this one! If you are a Utah bride-to-be you have to see her for a tasting! She is amazing and has the most delicious cakes and unique flavors. Plus, she is the kindest person to work with. Thank you for everything, Cindy!)

3 TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE:

Tip #1 We have been through so much in our 5 years of marriage. Any married couple out there knows how hard the first year can be, and for us it really was. We were young, stubborn, and still working on communicating properly. I need to thank my amazing aunt and uncle for always being our one and only example of what a God-based, healthy, loving marriage is, because without them, we never would have had that example.

That would be my first tip to a newly married couple. Find another couple that you are close with to be your example of what marriage should be. Trust me, you will need them to learn and see that marriage is worth every difficult moment, especially in the beginning. I feel so blessed to know in my heart that Sam and I will be that for our children someday.

Tip #2 An incredible thing in our marriage is that at the center is Jesus. We are Christian and truly believe that having a Christ-centered marriage can get us through it all. We turn to God in all our needs, and for all our graces. He keeps us both strong, and our marriage even stronger. For this, I am eternally grateful.

Tip #3 Communicate. You’ll save yourselves from 1,000 petty arguments just by talking. Sam and I literally talk about everything (like staying up until midnight last night talking about Wild Kratts and Sophia the First…) so we are always sharing our worries, fears, joys, and anything else. I know exactly how my husband thinks, and same for him. We are always on the same page, because we are constantly discussing everything. We are best friends, and it really makes our marriage that much stronger. But it hasn’t always been so easy. Communicating was always my personal biggest struggle, and something I still have to work on all the time.

3 GREAT BOOKS FOR COUPLES:

The Love Dare

The 5 Love Languages

Love and Respect (also has a workbook!)

What is your biggest tip for married couples? Please share them with us in the comments, or on my Instagram!

Thank you all SO much for reading, and following!

xx

FILLING YOUR CUP

 Top: Target / leggings: H&M / boots: Nordstrom / necklace: Rocksbox (code: tessamariebatesxoxo for one free month!)

Calling all mama’s! Momming is a HARD job. We give so much and often forget to refill our own cups, which makes life overwhelming. As a mom I am so hard on myself, and I know I am not the only one. There is so much pressure to be perfect. It’s too much.

I have had a really hard year with this. Becoming a mom of two, suffering from postpartum anxiety and depression, and everything else life brings I literally stopped taking care of myself. And it wasn’t okay. Thankfully my sweet husband helped me (and continues to help me everyday with these things) and encouraged me to change that. Some things felt like work, some just didn’t work out, but I have finally figured out what works for me and I would love to share it with all of you!

There is so much I could say, but to keep it simple I will go through my TOP 3 tips to fill your cup as a mama.

  1. Wake up before your kids. You may or may not be a morning person, but either way I think this is necessary for a good start to each day! Especially for a stay at home mom like myself. It’s hard when you wake up with your kids, and have to jump straight into diaper changes, making breakfast, etc. It makes for a smoother, happier day when I get even just 15 minutes in the morning to get a cup of coffee, get dressed, get breakfast started, and anything else (depending on how much time I have) before it’s time to jump right into taking care of the babies.
  2. Do something completely for yourself. Something that you love, something that makes you happy. For me, it’s writing. I LOVE to write. I started this blog because I love writing. I wrote a short story and published in on Amazon eBooks, which was so much fun. I am currently a few chapters away from being finished with my first novel as well! It’s so important that I make time to write. It’s my outlet, my passion, and something that makes me me.  I also go to coffee every Sunday morning with my best friend. It’s pretty much my only time away from home by myself and it’s a good reset to start the week. Whatever your thing is, don’t let it go. Give it the time, make it a priority. We deserve it.
  3. Get Ready. I don’t love to get ready, but if I take time to shower, get dressed, and do my hair (I seriously only wear makeup 30% of the time. If that.) I feel better, I am more productive, and the day is just better.

What are your tips for filling your cup? Please share them with me! I am always going to be working on this and love hearing what other mama’s do.

Thanks so much for reading/following!

xx

Tessa

EASY FAUX HAWK BRAID

^^ugh. Nice postpartum hairless shot. Sad.

  1. Part your hair into three sections at your hair line.
  2. Braid the sides tightly, going straight back.
  3. Braid the middle section back tightly until you reach this point of your head.
  4. Begin incorporating the sides of your hair and the side braids into one large braid straight down the middle.
  5. I barley pull this braid out but you can do it as much or as little as you want.

Use the hashtag #tessamariehair on social media so I can see! Thanks for reading!

xx

MOMMY STYLE MONDAY: QUALITY TIME

This week’s inspiration is date night. Hmm, date nights. Do I even remember what that is? Joking. I totally don’t. However, for now I am okay with it, And so is my husband.

I’ll be honest, I was really scared to write this post, because people can be cruel, and when it comes to parenting, no parent wants to be judged or scrutinized for what they feel is best for their family. You would not believe the things people have said to me over this subject before, and I am honestly still in shock about the most recent.

It’s kind of crazy to me how incredibly shocking it is to so many people that we don’t leave our kids yet with anyone but each other. We aren’t ready (yes, we. My husband feels strongly about our parenting choices). I know this is different from the norm. I know for many it wouldn’t work, and that’s okay.

I have a really good, solid marriage. We both know we would just be stressing and missing our kids if we ever left them. I know so many people feel that is wrong, but it is RIGHT for us. We decided on our parenting before we had kids that when they were completely verbal, and going to the bathroom on their own, then we would leave them with a family member. Thankfully, we have been blessed with never having to change our choice on this because of an emergency or anything.

We go on “dates” as a family. We go out for a meal, we get a coffee, we go the farmers market we love, seriously anything. And I know that it all is a normal family outing, but we make everything count.

We spend every evening together after the kids go to bed. Not spending alone together certainly wouldn’t work, so we are always so grateful for this time together every night. We cherish the quite and each other and it’s the best way to end the day.

We also steal moments. All the moments. Each one is so important. Every nap time, every time we pass each other in the room, every second the kids are occupied, we are taking every moment to connect. We talk constantly and about everything. We make each other laugh non-stop.

I really don’t want to sound like I am just bragging about how amazing my marriage and my husband is, but I kind of can’t help it. We are best friends. We love our life and we love being with our whole little family. It’s how we run. It’s how we work. And through it all we have kept our love and connection as deep and as strong as ever.

Thank you so much for reading! Dates for some parents look different. Here’s what it looks like for us!

It’s clearly hard for our pictures not to suffer sometimes haha! But it’s real!

Be sure you check out the other mom’s posts on their date nights!

Kiana at Glitter & Donuts

Madeline at CaseyLand

Britt at My Little Sunshine

Juli at Journey of J^3

Beverly at What a Day 

Erica at Good Job Momma

Kristen at Eat Play and Go

HALF DUTCH, HALF FISHTAL TUTORIAL 









A side braid is often my go-to style. It’s fast and easy and I don’t always need a mirror to do it. But I can’t ever decide between a fishtail and a plain Dutch. So I do both! I also just feel like this is a great style to share for this weekend. I hope you try it out! 

Here is how I do it: 

  1. Start with straight hair, parted to the side.
  2. Start a Dutch braid at the top of your part and follow along as close to your hair line as possibles. 
  3. Once you finish incorporating hair into your braid (should stop about your earlobe!), dive the middle piece into the two outer crossovers. 
  4. Begin a Dutch fishtail braid and finish braiding the rest of your hair. 
  5. Pull the braid out to be as chunky as you want.
  6. Secure with an elastic. 
  7. Pull out a few pieces to frame your face. 

That’s it! Let me know what you guys think! If you try this style out please use the hashtag #tessamariehair on social media so I can see! 

Thanks so much for reading! I hope everyone had a great, long weekend! 

xx